Baby Good Update: Half Way There!
20 weeks. I’m really unsure how that’s possible! I am literally somedays still in shock that we are pregnant, that we get to meet our very own baby in just a few short months! Baby Good is already so loved, we are already looking forward to so many moments with our very first little one. Our very first little clone (I’m convinced he is going to be an exact copy of his Dad haha)
As much as I can’t wait to meet our baby, I’m also dying for time to slow down. I was very much so in shock when we found out we were pregnant (just because I was VERY convinced that I was NOT pregnant) and it took a few weeks for it to really sink in. Then, about 2 weeks ago when my belly actually started to look baby-big, it all kind of REALLY sank in. Like, holy crap, there’s legit been a baby cooking in there, it’s all ours, and we get to love him and watch him grow, and share so many incredible experiences with him. I’ve been lucky to have felt so good throughout our whole pregnancy so far, and I don’t want to rush it. I want time to slow down so I can soak it all in, so I can remember this for the rest of my life. I don’t want to hurry this along.
There’s also a part of me that’s sad. Now, before judging me on this, just hear me out. Joel and I always knew we wanted kids one day, but we were never in a hurry to start our family. We have been so happy to be in the Aunt-Uncle role to 15 nieces and nephews in total (with one more on the way!) and didn’t feel like it was our time until late last year. And with us traveling like we have basically since we’ve been married, we’ve gotten so used to being what I call “selfish with our time.” Basically, we do us all the time. We do what we want on a whim, have little obligations to others (in regards to our time), and spend literally almost every moment of our free time together. Just the two of us. I felt a little isolated at first when we began traveling all those years ago. But as we adventured along and learned things about ourselves/each other/our relationship, we realized how GOOD this is. How much we appreciate this time to be “selfish” because, our life will probably not always be like this. This season, that’s so far lasted over 4 years, has been a hard one. But an OH SO GOOD one, even through the hard parts. And I’m admitting it: I’m a little sad that it’s coming to an end. It will never just be “us” ever again, and as much as I’m ready and thrilled and so immensely grateful to get to be a mother to a baby that’s “us”, the teeny tiniest piece of my heart is breaking for the end our “just us” season.
Our path hasn’t been a “typical” one. I remember people AT OUR WEDDING asking us “soooooo, when will you start having babies!?” And I’m like uuuhhhh…. one day? in the unforeseeable future? But I guess that’s kind of what’s “expected.” Especially in the midwest. You get married, have “typical” jobs, and start a family.
From the very beginning of our relationship (aaaall the way back to high school in the early 2000’s) I knew the connection Joel and I had was special. And as our connection grew into young-love, and we would part ways several times (and even date other people!) we always managed to find our way back to each other. We fought for each other, and at times we fought HARD for each other. Taking on difficult times, learning to forgive (ourselves and each other), learning so much about love and happiness, and growing up together. Becoming real-life adults, and forming this really incredible, passionate, fierce, imperfect love that we get to share. Through that love, we’ve come to have this really “weird”, “untypical” way of life. That we absolutely LOVE. And although many people over the past 4+ years have confessed they don’t “get” our life, and have expressed that they feel that we should live a different way/reside at “home”/have “real” jobs/etc/etc/etc…. that’s just not us. That’s not our “normal.” We are (have become) more of the type of people to go with the flow, to make plans while still fully expecting those plans to not work out exactly how we’d like. The type of people to be okay with not having all the answers or knowing exactly what’s going to happen, and to find happiness in whatever situation we find ourselves in. Because in the end, for us, as long as we’re together, we know we’ll figure it out one way or another. And while that’s not for everyone, it’s obviously for us. And that’s what matters.
I think about all that, and I get so excited to share it all with our little buddy. To share that love, our pursuit of happiness, and all of our little quirks. To get to teach our child about the huge, vast world out there that’s full of all this incredible happiness just waiting to be found. Even when/if we have more of a “typical” life down the road, I know we’ll instill a love of adventure in our little boy (and the 10 other Joel+Alix kids to come (; ) as well as a desire to find happiness in the world. Will we be “perfect” parents? Hell no. But will we try with every ounce we have to teach our child love, genuine happiness, and all of the other good things about life? Yes. A resounding, confident, absolute YES.